1. Distinguish to whom or with whom you are talking.
- Talking to a man will mostly likely get you some advice or problem solving solution response. This is great if you are 'frustrated, angry, annoyed, etc.' because you have car trouble or another problem that needs fixing. If you are not looking for a solution or problem solving answer though, your husband, boyfriend, or other man might not be the right person to talk to.
- Talking to a friend might get you into a situation where you end up having to listen to his/her anger, sadness, annoyance, or frustration. If you feel you can listen, that is great, but if you need someone that listens to you, then being able to know what friend to talk to is helpful.
- Talking to a family member, relative, neighbor, acquaintance, friend, teacher, or professor can make a big difference. It has really helped to distinguish how close someone is. Sometimes it is better to talk to someone who is emotionally more distant than someone close.
- "Before using the Emotions software, I would tend to share my happiness, frustration, anger, or annoyance with anyone who happened to be there, my barber, mailman, my landlord, my neighbor, even my cashier at the local supermarket. I must have driven them crazy. The Emotions software has changed so much and I am actually looking forward to those challenging feelings. I don't think I have ever been that creative in my life."
2. Remember that your emotion is a catalyst for growth.
- Whether or not the "talking" action leads to growth or not is a great way to determine whether one chose the right conversation partner. Ask yourself while you are listening to someone, "Does this conversation contribute to my growth?"
- If you have a chance to have a session with a psychologist or therapist, use the same criteria. Does this session lead to my personal growth? Surprisingly, some software users have found that some sessions were a waste of time and moved on to another therapist.
3. Finding the right person to talk to for your personal growth can be a trial and error process.
- Don't give up using the "talking" action as the third step in your Emotions software. Keep your notes that the Emotions Journal generates for you for future reference. Those notes are really helpful and actually fun to read later on.
- If you learn that the first person that you talked to did not contribute to any growth, try another person. If the second person does not help either, try again. Sometimes it takes time to learn which person is the best person to talk to for different emotions.
